Have you ever heard something like this?
I’m tired of feeling trapped by all the rules of Christianity. I’m tired of being told I can’t do anything fun! If there really is a God, then He wouldn’t stop me from doing the things that make me happy and don’t hurt anybody.
How should you respond? If a person is reacting to Christianity this way, he likely won’t stick around in the church for long. What is he missing about God? About morality?
I think there are a few different ways you could go with this, so I’m looking forward to seeing where you take it. As always, we’ll hear Brett’s thoughts on Thursday.
STR Place Blog 
i think this person has a big misconception of what christianity is – this is just a sterotype there are christians who do bad/good things and then there are atheists who do bad/good things – christianity just tells the person what they belive in not how they should act
I think I’d just quote Amos Starkadder:
“Ye miserable, crawlin’ worms. Are ye here again then? Have ye come like Nimshi, son of Rehoboam, secretly out of your doomed houses, to hear what’s comin’ to ye? Have ye come, old and young, sick and well, matrons and virgins, if there be any virgins amongst you, which is not likely, the world being in the wicked state that it is. Have ye come to hear me tell you of the great, crimson, licking flames of hell fire? Aye! You’ve come, dozens of ye. Like rats to the granary, like field mice when it’s harvest home. And what good will it do ye? You’re all damned! Damned! Do you ever stop to think what that word means? No, you don’t. It means endless, horrifying torment! It means your poor, sinful bodies stretched out on red-hot gridirons, in the nethermost, fiery pit of hell and those demons mocking ye while they waves cooling jellies in front of ye. You know what it’s like when you burn your hand, taking a cake out of the oven, or lighting one of them godless cigarettes? And it stings with a fearful pain, aye? And you run to clap a bit of butter on it to take the pain away, aye? Well, I’ll tell ye, there’ll be no butter in hell!”
The prospect of no butter in hell ought to turn things around for them.
I would ask the person, “What is God stopping you from doing?” And then again, “What else is God stopping you from doing?” until I have a whole list of things this person believes God is stopping him from.
I think by letting them tell me what is the issues I can find out what he is being convicted of.
God doesn’t stop us from anything. God states, in the bible, the things he says are wrong. Things that he accounts as sin. If we wanted to sin, we are free to do so, but even though all things are permissible, all things are not profitable.
Being Christian does not mean we can’t do anything, but it does mean we want to please God. If this person feels like they are being locked down, then they are still not saved and have not yet been transformed. They are more than likely riding the fence if they are still coming to church. They are wanting to change because they are feeling the call, but more than likely they feel like they will be losing out on so much if they choose Christ.
This kind of person needs a lot of loving guidance. Find would is troubling them in God’s word and work through it with them. Find out what is the sins they are still wanting to hold on to and see why they don’t want to let them go. These could be struggles for them for the rest of their life but if they understand the Jesus died for their sins, and that God has a strength that they can tap into that will keep them from the sin, then they just might come out in the end understanding that God loves them enough to let them choose the right path.
In order for this objection to stand (much less the assumed conclusion), the person must establish that the things they call “fun” do not cause ANYONE to be unhappy ever, and is the result of only people who are happy all the time.
Also,
We all have been told that antifreeze has a sweet flavor. But we are told not to drink it. Not because the person does not want us to enjoy the sweet flavor, but because they don’t want us to die. We certainly wouldn’t say, “Well, you just don’t want me to enjoy my life, so I’m going to say that you don’t exist and ignore what you have told me about antifreeze.” Ironically, its the person who refuses to see future consequences of actions who won’t exist (much sooner) to enjoy more fun.
This person claims to be bothered by God’s rules yet gives a moral rule of their own, “God shouldnt stop me from doing things that make me happy and dont hurt anybody”. So it seems they cant completely avoid a world with moral rules.
I would ask this person if there are any moral rules they agree with. Surely rules against rape, murder, theft, etc. But what about depriving the rapist, murderer, or theif of their fun? “Well, those things are wrong because others are harmed”, says the skeptic. But why think thats a legitimate measure of right or wrong behavior? If individuals or societies define morality then no objective standard exists.
How would this person view a cheating husband or wife who never gets caught? Or the “Peeping Tom” outside your window that you never discover? No harm no foul, right?
Every responsible parent gives rules to a child, some of which do not relate to “harming another”, (brush your teeth, no cheating in school, good manners, etc.).But a loving parents primary concern is the well being of the child.Parents have a bigger picture in mind than do children. God’s rules are for our well being. The questioner sounds like the ungrateful child who never see’s that bigger picture.
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Stand to Reason, Brett Kunkle. Brett Kunkle said: Your friend says, "Why would God want to ruin all of our fun?" What would you say in response? http://bit.ly/hy2Uem […]
It seems like he should read Ecclesiastes! If fun means temporal pleasures, earthly gain, lustful encounters, and wonton successes, than take advice from people like King Solomon, “Vanity of vanities.” Jesus came to bring life and life more abundantly. Come and see and taste that the Lord is good!
I prefer to see the rules God dictates not as inhibiting our freedom, but giving us freedom from destructive behaviors. If person (A) is saying that “God shouldn’t inhibit my freedom,” then he’s just making a rule to try and give himself freedom from God. We all live with rules and limits placed upon us, we just need the right kind of rules and limits. The right kinds of limits can actually be pretty freeing.
For example: A fish is the most free within the limits of water. A professional pianist is so good at playing the piano because he practiced for hours, which limits his freedom to do other things. Limits aren’t bad, we just need the right ones, and God knows what limits are good for us better than we do.
I sometimes feel trapped too. Restricted, like a kid in a fenced in playground.When I’m boared of not getting along with my playmtes I want to jump over the fence experience “real life”. And I have. And gotten hurt. It’s then I realize the fence isn’t trapping me, it’s proteting me. It’s all a matter of perspective.
For reasons that I cannot reveal or be censured by STR, I avoided Christian fellowship in college. Guess what? The partying crowd was right there to help me stumble. Possibly from fun, bad habits, which I continued, or maybe just from going around a bend too fast, my car colided with a tree a few weeks after graduation.
Rumors spread about my being comatose for over 2 weeks. Returning several months later to party where I went to college, a girl said “I knew someone just like you. But you can’t be him because he died.”
Like Jesus, I live today. I have learned that forbidden fruit may look good, but …
This statement indicates that the person has a largely legalistic way of seeing Christianity. Legalism is a very serious and tragic way of seeing the rules outlined in the Bible. The thinking that the intension of Biblical law can be boiled down to a set of rules which we can then accomplish is unfortunately naive. Paul discusses such notions in his letter to the Romans (chapters 4 & 7 specifically). Legalism itself can bolster one’s ego and is strongly condemned by Jesus. Think of Jesus’s behavior toward the pharisees, who tended towards legalsim in their view of the Torah.
The purpose of the Law (Mosaic Law) was largely to reveal sin and to show our inclination towards sin. Sin is ultimately the distortion of proper relationship to God, neighbors, and things; which has dire consequences: the wrath of God poured out due to His holy character. If proper relationship is to be re-established, salvation from God’s wrath must be attained. Therefore, God, whom humanity has wronged, established a way to obtain that salvation. The things commanded of us in the Bible are the foundation from which proper relationships may be built. Anything built on a distorted foundation will ultimately collapse, therefore, Biblical prohibitions are there to enable us to live fulfilled lives on solid foundations.
You feel trapped by Christianity? Well, first off, you have to remember, that when you became a Christian, you GAVE your life to God. And if you gave your life to God, then it isn’t yours anymore. It’s under the authority of God now, not your owns. If you feel like you are constrained, it’s because you didn’t count the cost. Understand the kind of commitment you are taking by giving your life to God.
Also, which is more important, your having fun or honoring God? Because God says certain things are allowed and certain things are not. Lets say he does say that something that is fun is wrong, grant that. If you are willing to put whatever that thing is before God, then youre idolizing something, be it your own fun and pleasure, or tagging, or the trill of stealing. If thats more important to you, then you aren’t putting God first.
And, i think there is a confusion between what freedom actually entails. the way the questioner is posing it is in a negative (i cant do this i cant do that) and then freedom must mean to be able to do whatever we want (and not only culturally, but legally as well, as we see in cases of abortion, a woman’s autonomy and having the right to do whatever she wants). But the best way to experience the best experiences is with limits and constrictions. Like if I married someone, to get the best love we want, we have to reserve ourselves for each other. The most prosperous way in this kind of love requires restrictions.
But then I do think it’s important to relate. I think the examples already given are good, like antifreeze having a sweet taste, fish out of water, but we should also really try to make them personal. Give a personal example from your own life. And no, I’m not willing to share one here. lol